Monday, November 24, 2008

Wonder Wonder Everywhere And Lotsa Drops To Spare

I used to always think of myself as a pessimistic idealist. Not so much the conundrum as it sounds. You see, despite being a very happy person, who had, and still has, a lot of ideas regarding perfection very highly, all but quixotic in my unrealistic ideals I had for how myself and life should go-- despite the idealist half there was that pessimism crashing down on it. But they weren't opposing forces so much as cause and effect. I wanted everything to be perfect, and seeing myself and life as it was, made me see everything negatively. My craving for the ideal life and world turned my rose-coloured glasses grey.
Now I took them off and I'm going to try re-teaching myself to really see. Instead of idealizing and over-thinking everything till the real beautiful things in life seem distorted and flawed, I'm going to really appreciate all I have and the life I live and the world I live in. It's not perfect, but seeing it as it is  reveals so much. There really is so much wonderful in everything.

This started as pondering optimism and whether it is something I need in my life. But seeing as I'm so lucky, I think I just need eyes to see it all. And a bad day is just a day before a good day, so seeing that will push me through the negative. I'm not sure what's optimism and what's just seeing anymore, I guess that shows what I wonderful life I lead.

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